reluctancy.

i suddenly feel reluctant to return to school.

i feel so foreign, feels like i'm back to what i was 6months ago. starting school in a whole new BIG HUGE environment. of course, my consolation are the very, good friends i made durings this short span of time :)

going to school alone tomorrow makes me feel kinda weird, like i'm so not used to walking to the oh-so-far interchange, and taking the bus with tons of people going to the same destination - ngeeannpoly. i just feel so weird & lost. i wished my friends could take the same bus with me :( & we'll make loads of noise on the bus, that would lighten up the mood alot.

anyhow, today marks the end of my 2 month working stint. i left with mix feelings, both happiness & sadness.

overall, it's sadness. lol. it was fun working in sentosa & i've not regretted going for this job. i always thought that i'm an office person, apparently, i've proved myself wrong during this 2 months.

i've made friends/"enemies" while working. & of course, my very good friends still stands by to pick me up when i fall. i'll miss the crap we all have after work, sitting inside the store. & when i'm waiting for the mates, loitering around with derek. i'm gonna miss zayra & joseph. i'm gonna miss the ICE CREAM SCOOP :D



consolation i have? the mates are still around.

i wish life would be that pleasant, having people i know everywhere i go, or having them go with me :) but no, life's not that pleasant. & i'm already bombarded with meeting new friends & MAKING new friends at the age of 17 for every new semester, i swear it's gonna kill me sooner or later. i LOATHE opening up all over again.

very well, hope my exposure in sentosa will.. allow me to muster up some courage. i hope, wish & pray. lol.

it's time to hit the sack, i'll be up & running in 7 hours time. horrible, but then again, my blog would be much more active from tomorrow onwards.

what do you expect me to do? :) i've a laptop, internet connection, perfect ambience with the lecturer droning on & on. brain juice starts flowing - although for the wrong thing.

& yes, how do i get from harbourfront to orchard, by private transport? instead of going on bigggg round to clementi & down holland?


goodnight world, i wish everyday was like today. simple & good.

:)

If your heart's not in it - Westlife.

HAHAHAHA :D freaking nice song pls. thanks kervin. HAHAHA :D

-

days was alright. shall blog in points. freaking lazy :D

work started alright, without spoons/cups & wedges.
cleared up alot of mess & ice cream. left with five cartons sucks.
some group of people came & collected ice cream.
left with 3 half cartons :D
slacked all the way.
happy birthday zayra. :)
went t vivo, stupid cinema so many people.
went t cathay, burnt bits of my leg, kenna th exhaust. 
i'll remember alvin forever -.-
had yoshinoya for dinner, first time? i guess.
watched WTC. almost froze to death inside.
stupid lame draggy show. your love kept me alive. HAHAHA.
came home. & tadah, conference up till now.

i nidda bath &
 all of us still cant accept the fact that we're going to school tomorrow.
gotta be in school by 815, meeting the mates.
how the hell i'm gonna wake up, i've got noooo idea :)
but anyhow. dress code, anyhow whack alr! LOL.

oh wells. :)
i dont think i can sleep at 12 alr,
talking too much crap with them. LOL! :)

so how was ur day today? rate it 1 to 7.
mine's 7! i'm crazy :D

okay, ryan is lame. :)))


breakfast tomorrow shall be.. no idea :)

there's no scar. PHEW. hahahaha

hmmmm. alrights :D

toodles. :D


PS. comment whoever is reading. LOL! :)
denise, thankyou! love ya very much :DD
we shall show our faces in unity & tanglin soon uhhh. :D

-


I'm missing you
Girlboy even though you're right here by my side
Cause lately it seems
The distance between us is growing too wide

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over
It's the last thing that I wanna hear

Chorus:
But if your heart's not in it, for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world, for you
Anything you ask of me, I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it

You say that you love me
But baby sometimes
You're just saying the words
If you've got something to tell me
Don't keep it inside
Let it be heard

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over
Girlboy. I'll make it easy for you

Chorus:
If your hearts not in it, for real
Please dont try to fake what you don't feel
If the loves already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world, for you
Anything you ask of me, I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your hearts not in it

How I wish I could take us back in time
But it's gone too far now we can't rewind
There's nothing I can do
To stop from losing you
I can't make you change your mind
If your heart's not in it

Chorus:
If your hearts not in it, for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If the loves already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the world, for you
Anything you ask of me, I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your hearts not in it
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If the loves already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the world, for you
Anything you ask of me, I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your hearts not in it

Stuck - stacie orrico.

I can’t get out of bed today or get you off my mind
I just can’t seem to find a way to leave the love behind
I ain't tripping, I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying, you know what I mean

You kept me hanging from a string, why you make me cry?
I tried to give you everything, but you just gave me lies
I ain't tripping, I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying, you know what I mean yeah

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
And say you want me back, but you never do
I feel like such a fool, there’s nothing I can do
I’m such a fool for you

I can’t take it, what am I waiting for?
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
It’s true, I’m stuck on you

Now, love's a broken record that’s been skipping in my head
I keep singing yesterday, why we gots to play these games we play?
I ain't tripping, I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying, you know what I mean yeah

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
And say you want me back but you never do
I feel like such a fool

I can’t take it what am I waiting for
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinkin’ of you
It’s true, I’m stuck on you

I am stuck on yoooou
yoooooou
oooooooooo

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
And say you want me back, but you never do
I feel like such a fool, there’s nothing I can do,
I’m such a fool for you

I can’t take it what am I waiting for
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
I don’t know what to do
I’m stuck on you


uhhuh, sucha right song for me. hor yena? i'm stuck on you.

saaaaaturday.

something is wrong with this stupid new template shit lar! whatever, they just keep telling me there's an error, but i cant seem to find the error after long excessive readings of the code. BLAH. screwing my eyes up. whatever.

i counted my chickens too early, i might now be gng to sydney afterall. unless i've got enough cash to pay for my air tickets :) anyone?

dad's selfish lar! he dont wanna pay for my tix. AHHH!! :( selfish :(

i realised i blog wrongly. i saw a dodge viper tomorrowyesterday. LOL.

-

went to CSC just now. dad went to register for some social dance class. & us? we went to bowl for half an hour there was some stupid tournament going on. so we.. had to go.

i wont ever bowl at CSC again, EVER! unless i've got my own ball. the holes are so small & the holes are oily. i kept on losing grip. half my throws went down the drain. wtf pls. ended up with only 69pts. DAMN GREAT.and i broke a nail. -.- i'm thinking of picking it up as a hobbby leh. but nobody's gonna fund me.

so as usual, i always eat alot when i'm out with my family. all they think about is eating, eating and eating. lol! had this rather pathetic & lousy blackpepper chicken shred sandwich. ended up eating chicken wings @ the cafe next to the pool.

went down to science center to watch the stupid omnimax thing. BORING. was dozing away. i dont know what's with me dozing off in movies nowadays.

went to IMM to walk around & bot potato chips. WAHHAHA. wanted to eat some big meal or smthng :x but ended up at kopitiam :( failed attempt to make dad spend money! but i had ang zhao chicken mee sua. DAMN SHIOKK. but, not better then mom's cooking lar.

oh well. :) nothing much alr. i dont know what to do with the blogskin. damn scrwd.


i want fundings to sydney :(

-

i just cant stop screwing things up. sometimes i dont do it on purpose, but it just comes out that way. oh man.


laters.

MESSED UP!

firstly, my blog is in a huge mess! :) i realised that my friends are all lazy buggers who dont like to click on the COMMENT link t comment. hello lazy buggers!! :D & in the midst of changing my blogskin, i realised i didn't save the LAST blogskin :) so now i'm searching for a new one to edit & change. my links are all gone! so i've to slowly, painstakingly type in the long excessive codes of links :) HAHAHA.

secondly, i think i've never seen a good friend of mine, throwing in all her efforts to get my out of this pile of shit. she'll risk her life to eliminate whoever that's hurting me. EHEM, so dont try hor :)

thirdly, DENISE TAN LI LOO if you're seeing this, i havent talked to you for a long time, MSN ME PLEASE when you're free. we've got tons to talk about & erh, yea this might sound sudden. do you even read?!?! :D

fourthly, i've got a new gate at home :) random but the drillings & stuff woke me up from my sleep.

fifthly? HAHAHAHA, school is starting in TWO days. :(

sixthly, i'm proud to say i've two shameless friends. :)

seventhly, my sis is ignoring me! :( punishment for not being home for so many days?!

eightly, i saw a dodge viper tomorrow. super pretty pls :))))

okay, i copied yena's blogging method for her last post. :D

lastly,

.
.
.
.
.
.

i'm going to sydney end of december! :DDDDDD

lalalala, i'm a happy girl! :) envy me pls :D





i cant think of anything to blog already. oh well. mom's got new dvds. time t chiong again :) after i'm done clearing up the mess. :D


laters!

chill out.

chill out day with the mates.

put yena, lizhen, shawn, ryan & i together. all you get is utter loads of crap & pouring troubles session.

we dont really need a place to chill, put us in a coffeeshop with kopi/teh/soyabean/greentea/barley & we'll sit & talk like nobodies business.

so we walked from MS, to fullerton, to boat quay (going one big huge round) to clarke quay. settling down in the middle for dinner break @ BurgerKing coffeeshop.

as usual, sat & chatted about the class, always. it's always the class. always forever is the class. & talked about clubbing - not ready yet pls :) wanted t grab a bacardi from 7-11 but no cash. spoiler!

we chatted at mccafe also. over matters of the heart. it really sucks.

yena dared me, to wear a long skirt out (the bohe kind) & she'll roll on the floor for a good half an hour. NO PROB MAN :) i'll do it! watch & see.

& shawn dared us. to dress as TWITS with pink hair & he'll run along orchard NAKED or until he gets caught by the police.

moral of th story, dont dare us man!

:) i had fun. loads of fun!

we found actors it's actually a pub for anyone to jam. its a pretty nice place to chill :) one day we'll pop by after school.

yena & lizhen are damn funny pls :) they used all sorts of method to hail a cab for me to get home. so damn hilarious. & they didnt realise that there were people opposite. hahaha! i love them :) & nothings gonna come in between.


-

i hate clement chong. LOL. he's filthy rich & showing off his ASSETS and shit! I HATE YOU. ahhahaha.

-

i came up with a theory while i was bathing. yea, i have too much on my mind that i think even when i bath.

love is bittersweet.

you wanna love, but yet, sometimes it makes you so frustrated you wanna hate.

hate always overcomes love. sweetness can never overcome bitterness, never, ever.

-

now, i feel like doing just one thing. throwing everything aside and be alone. i hate this thing going on man.

i hate to be made use of. geddit?


whatever.

xoxo,
rachel

proven.

i think i can pretty dumb at times.

sony ericsson phones make you confirm twice the receipient of the msg before sending it out.

i always curse & swear when people dont reply my msges.

& the other thing that will make me curse and swear is that...

i realise i havent send out the msg & stupidly waiting for reply - cursing & swearing at the person. HAHAHAHA. how dumb pls :X


thats me. huge dumbo :)

im hungry. gastric attacking! blaaa.