dear diary,

i heard a story about a girl.

the first time they met, it was nothing but hellos and smiles. she was shy, and didn't dare to say anything. she was made fun of by him over D*. that's another story tho. that has become part of her past which doesn't matter much. and she's still peeved over how D* treated her.

after the whole matter was over. she realised that they meet yet again. now, a totally different story from before. m* and him for close friends. much more closer then he and i. we were then, just acquintances. however, as days went by. they got closer and started talking alot more. she never knew, that would change her life so much.

as day by day passes by. she would go out and study for her upcoming end of year exams but yet, half her mind would be thinking of him. waiting anxiously for his sms-es or replies. the first time she went into his house when she was, as usual. struggling with her maths. she saw his mom, and sis.

she didn't dare think too much. she knew, he could never be hers. they could never be together. he was famous and handsome. she? just another girl next door. nobody took noticed of her.

days passed by, and many things happened. they talked more, sms-ed more. met up more. things changed. feelings developed. at least in her, she didn't know about him.

she had just left his house, and in the midst of a struggle to not accept his money for his dinner, her phone dropped, and vibration was lost. she was upset, she left with a simple word "bye".

she was shocked, when he started hinting that she could be his girlfriend instead. she couldn't believe it, and in the end said, i don't deserve to be your girlfriend.

one day while studying tgt over at his place, things changed quickly. having the fight of our lives, trying to tickle each other so badly. she suddenly stopped, knowing that they've gone too far as friends. but what she didn't expect was a kiss from him. there, he asked would you be my girlfriend?

she was shocked and lost for words. the only word she could utter was yes.

-

their lives changed very much from there. after a few months came the incessant quarrels and arguments over trival things. but he was patient enough to stand by her, and understand her.

all she felt were insecurities. he said i'll go through this year with you. i'll go through your O lvls with you. he did it. :) many things happened, the relationship changed from bad to worst.

until one day, it reached the peak. and he, suggested a breakup. she was devastated. but then again, she decided no point hanging on.

-

after a few weeks, she got to know this other guy. let's call him T*. she felt really comfortable with this guy, a nice friend. but then again, their characters differed too much. she couldn't accept his behaviours. she abhors people smoking, and it felt like their paths just crossed for a moment. just for that moment, they meant to be only friends. T* was a flirt anyway.

she was in a dilemma, whether to go back to him or stay with T*. T* was nice, it was too early to start another relationship. T* knew that she was in a dilemma, he gave her 3 words. only 3 words. follow your heart.

thanks T*. she went back to him. she was rather hostile in the beginning, still unsure whether had she made the right choice to go back. she realised then, she loved him afterall. she'll continue loving him.

things got better, until a few months later. the same things happened again. he started caring less, she started giving in alot more to suit him, to at least maintain this relationship.

she asked herself many a times, is it worth it? she had wanted so much to break up with him when he said those unfeeling words that hurt her so deeply. but she decided to stay on.

-

digression.

through this one year, she did change, bit by bit. it was too little to notice. and because of that, he didn't realised that she did change for him. and didn't realise that she had given up alot of things for him. to him, it is what she was supposed to do. but to her, it made a very big difference in her life. she felt like she was living alone in her own world.

all she wanted was for him to give her abit more concern, and not to be so insensitive and know what she wants. but it never happened. he didnt even express how much he loved her, like how he said he would do. he always said i love you, i know words don't mean anything. but trust me. i'll show you. actions speaks louder then words.

-

in the end, she found herself alone yet again. she ask herself why did i choose to come back? was it the correct choice?

she did make the right choice. at least after they got back together. she felt some love. although it was short lived. he was right things would change after you go to work. things would change when you enter polytechnic.

now standing alone, she is nothing but a speck of dust. she lost love, love left her.

she's in a terrible position, she doesn't know whether to hang on or to leave. she wants to stay, but things he do is sending a signal to her to tell her to get lost.

she missses him, but does he miss her? she wants him back, and she feels stupid for doing all this things.

all she wants to say is. thankyou for the things you've done, thankyou for the support, thankyou for your love.

THE END.



nice drawing right? :)